As soon as you break up with someone or as soon as you are no longer in each other’s lives for what ever reason, they should forget all the little things they’d do that you loved all the things that made you smile or at least they should never be allowed to do it again. Right? Or am I crazy to think this? I just don't understand the meaning of bringing the past into the present. What can possibly be gained from this? Power? Think of it this way you could have had more power staying with me. Plus I have clearly moved on? Or does the fact that it bothers me mean I haven't moved on? Why on earth do guys come into your life find out everything you love about them decide they hate you never want to speak to you again unless other people are around and then they insist on doing the one thing that drives you crazy? The worse part of it all is that he ended it he walked away and left us as we were. Me completely dumbfounded because like a stupid chick he'd turned me into I thought things were going really good with us. Then BAM like a bad joke nothing not a hey hows it going, you still a live, whats up. And wow icing on the cake I work with him so here we are at work and he'll come out of left field and start rubbing my neck? Wait what did that really just happen? I mean come on. As if its not awkward enough that I made the mistake of starting anything with someone I work with and think the world of but now he throws this curve ball at me that leaves me with my jaw hanging in complete amazement wondering "am I crazy?" to top it all off he'll walk away after this completely stupid move and wink at me? Really. Really this is what I have to deal with now just because we have history? Why on earth would it be okay to do this. I never thought about it at party's when he'd come up behind me and touch the small of my back and stay there or when he'd lean close to say something in my ear or even when I'd catch him looking at me from across a room but when all this started at work I was completely left for crazy thinking a million thoughts per second. What do I do next tell him to knock it of or will that encourage it. Tell my boyfriend "oh you know that guy I slept with off and on again last year yea him his been rubbing my neck at work." That will go over great. ha not. It's fine I will deal with it for the short time I can until he moves at the end of summer. You know why. Because I'm still that stupid chick standing there waiting for him to come back. I still have this crazy idea we can be "just friends" and nothing else. That all the things he said about "our friendship meaning a lot to him and how he wasn't ready to risk it when we were both straight out of relationships." were true and that he just needs more time. I'll deal with it cause I was the stupid one to begin with thinking it would ever be more then it was. Given the fact we spent all our time together and that all our friends assumed we were together. Who knows maybe it wasn't such a far fetched idea. But if you ask me it really was the biggest mistake i made with him and I think we both knew it the hole time.
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