Life is funny. Not in the cliche way but it is. I have been alive for 22 years 9 months and 30 days, yet until a few months ago I really never saw the beauty in it all. A year ago I was finding out I was pregnant and dealing with all that comes with that. I was seeing my baby girl for one of the first and last times. I was learning that the life I had chosen was all wrong for me. It's funny and it's sad that her life and death is what made me live. I was the kind of person how didn't value life, I took each day for granted. It's true what they say losing someone breaks your heart. I was broken beaten and bruised. I had scars that had yet to heal when I lost her.
I made so many mistakes before she was made that I hadn't even realized they were mistakes. I thought I was living wild young and free. I made one mistake after I lost her and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm not looking at the things I'm doing as mistakes that will over take my life. They are more steps I need to take to find my... Life. I believe I have found the person who will stand by my side for as long as I'll keep him. It's incredibly scary. Finding someone who will take your breath away by just existing. I hit my pain quota for a large part if my life. I was rewarded with someone as beautiful as him.
I'm so proud of the life I've been leading the past months. I have a job I love, I have friends that I can depend on, I have a family that's stronger then anything I've ever known, I am in a relationship that I can be proud of. My life is shaping up my ducks so to say are lining up. I'm starting to ease into this life. I can only hope I'm done with the mess for a while and enjoy this time in my life because minus my daughters first year that I should be experiencing it's beginning to look like the best time of my life.
